i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
try to milk me bitch
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
