The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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