in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
