Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Less talking, more tequila
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
