He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize
