just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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