he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
