ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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