I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
