I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
