Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
