Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
