why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
