Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
