where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
