walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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