So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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