I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
