It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I need moral support for this bender
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
