If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
