she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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