You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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