well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
