i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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