shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I need water and some morals
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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