a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
