I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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