from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I licked your asshole in confidence.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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