is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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