you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
