Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
