we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
