Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
