i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
