so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
