Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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