I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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