She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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