WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
not ubering you a puppy
Randomize
