I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
