my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
