haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
farters have to be the big spoon...
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
