A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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