I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
