The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
