I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
