She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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