I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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