I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
