watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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